http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/axic/~3/Z6_F-q_tmrE/readers-choice-cheepie-awards-shopping.html

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http://rollingthroughlooneyville.blogspot.com/2009/12/c-and-bean-are-sitting-on-either-side.html

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Classic-WTF-The-Chief-Development-Manager.aspx

The Chief Development Manager was originally published on April 4, 2007.

"Wait a sec," whispered Chris’s coworker David, "he can’t possibly think this will solve the Build Problem? His idea is completely absurd!"

Chris nodded slightly, clearly uncomfortable to be part of a conversation taking place in the middle of a meeting. Especially a meeting being held by the Chief Development Manager. While some managers like to lead by example, and others like to lead by befriending, the Chief Development Manager liked to lead by fear.

"I mean, seriously," David continued, "this will only make the problem much –"

"Oh I’m sorry," the Chief Development Manager barked, callously, "were you guys trying to have a meeting in here? Because, if I was interrupting you two, I can stop. And I’m sure all the fifty-three other developers sitting here have nothing better to do than wait for your little meeting to end."

David and Chris stared blankly, mouths agape.

"Oh. You’re done? Great! Let’s continue, then. That okay with you?"

That was exactly what Chris was trying to avoid. The Chief Development Manager was known to act condescendingly like that. In fact, Chris had witnessed similar outbursts like that in the past. He wasn’t too thrilled to be at the center of one this time around.

I wish it could be said that, deep down inside, the Chief Development Manager was a nice guy and just liked to dish out tough love. But he wasn’t. He was a cantankerous, spiteful little man who wielded a lot of power and used that power to make everyone around him miserable. And his latest idea – the new Build & Deploy Process – was just another step in that direction.

David was right, the new Build & Deploy Process was ridiculous and, with the hundreds of developers spread across four offices around the world, it could never work. But the Chief Development Manager had staked his reputation on it and had sold it to his higher-ups as The Solution to all of their build problems. It didn’t matter what anyone said, they were using his process.

The new plan was to have a fixed build schedule with strict deadlines. If a developer didn’t get his change in by 3PM Tuesday, then that change wasn’t going. No excuses, no exceptions. And to manage all of these changes, there would be a single Excel spreadsheet on a network share drive that each developer would be responsible for updating. They’d have to add a row for every file changed and include its path, the issue number, and the reason behind the change.

To almost no one’s surprise, the first build using this new process was a complete disaster. Most developers spent all of Tuesday fighting over the change spreadsheet, desperately clicking it and cursing the "this file is currently in use by..." dialogs. With all the haphazard updates, the build wouldn’t even compile.

The second build, the third build, the fourth build – all suffered the same problems. 200+ developers trying to a share a single spreadsheet around a hectic build schedule just didn’t work. The Business was getting a bit fed up with the lack of working builds on their test environments and went straight to the Chief Development Manager for an explanation. As you may have guessed, the Chief Development Manager passed the blame right on down to the development managers and even the developers themselves. He expressed concerns that they might even be trying to sabotage his system.

"This is complete bullshit," David complained to Chris, as they sat in another developers cube, "does executive management actually believe that? I’ve put in a helluva lot of hours this year, and this is just going to kill our bonuses! I’m going to say something. This just isn’t right!"

Chris agreed, but cautioned his coworker about raising a stink. Everyone knew that the Chief Development Manager was not one to be messed with. But David ignored Chris’s advice and started gathering a small group of developers. Together, they would set up a meeting about the Build Process, invite executive management, and directly confront the Chief Development Manager. They would not put up with his blame-passing laying down.

As you also may have guessed, the Chief Development Manager covertly told executive management that their attendance at a meeting about the Build Process was a waste of their time, and that he’d distill the results to them later. David and his fellow developers waltzed into the conference room expecting a big confrontation, only to find the Chief Development Manager calmly sitting down, feigning eagerness to listen to their complaints.

Before he even let David finish his first sentence, the Chief Development Manager snapped that the meeting was a complete waste of his time, as well as everyone else’s. He forcefully declared that there was nothing wrong with his system and that he didn’t appreciate lowly developers telling him how to do his job. The meeting was officially adjourned when the Chief Development Manager stormed out of the conference room.

A week later, the Chief Development Manager approached David and each of the other developers from the Build Process meeting and apologized to them.

I’m kidding. He fired them on the spot. As security led them away, one at a time, every developer knew why they were let go and who made it happen.

The next day, the Chief Development Manager sent an email to all developers letting them know that, effective immediately, a third-party build management system will be used to manage changes. A slightly different email went to the executives, informing them that the problems behind the new build process – i.e., the developers he just fired – were now solved.

While this may seem like a rather depressing ending, I will share with you an email that Chris received a few weeks later. It was from David. "Chris, my new job is fantastic. And best of all, there’s no Chief Development Manager."

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/wwdn/~3/smgnTxQ1GIQ/from-the-vault-maybe-you-can-just-enjoy-the-tour.html

While looking for something entirely-unrelated, I came across this old post from 2006. I read the entire post that it's excerpted from on Radio Free Burrito 17, but this part made me smile, so it gets its own spot right here on my bloggy-blog-blog:

Though I've been there for several auditions, I haven't been on the Universal Studio Tour since  A-Team and Knight Rider were in prime time.

I can mark that particular period of time with this degree of certainty, because I clearly recall talking with KITT, and wanting to ask it if it ever raced the A-Team van around the back lot, but actually asking something stupid about how fast it could go.

I also recall taking a scratch off game with me on the tour tram, where we were supposed to look for A-Team characters in various places, and scratch off the appropriate image on the map, with the promise of a prize for kids who turned in correctly completed games. I can't remember all of them, but Mr. T -- well, a model of Mr. T's head, anyway -- was in this out of control train that was supposed to come within inches of crashing into the tram, and I was so busy trying to figure out how they did it, I forgot to scratch him off . . . until the tour guide reminded all us kids to scratch off that circle on our map.

"That's stupid," I told my mom, "if they're just going to tell everyone where the A-Team is, why should we even look?"

"Maybe you can just enjoy the tour," she said.

2006 was a fantastic year for me as a writer. When I go through the 2005-2006 archives, I see a lot of creative writing and narrative non-fiction that I recall having a lot of fun writing, which remains a lot of fun for me to read today. I'm not entirely sure why that is, but I suspect a lot of it has to do with how much I was allowing myself to simply enjoy the tour.

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/axic/~3/NE02Vyi_UJg/pampers-stockupportunity-at-amazon.html

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http://rollingthroughlooneyville.blogspot.com/2009/12/smooshies.html

Because our last Advent service was snowed out, we looked at Isaiah 9:6 this week:

For unto us a Child is born
Unto us a Son is given
And the government will be upon His shoulder
And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/axic/~3/KtjTw0DDZRY/leapfrog-tag-books-as-low-as-699-free.html

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http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2009/12/a-couple-of-bookrelated-things.html

http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/axic/~3/n1-8QbU0Npo/bogo-free-crocs-today-free-shipping.html

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http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/axic/~3/SYT_olEYjKo/fisher-price-toys-37-off-or-more.html

• Little People Fairy Treehouse: was $29.99, now $18.99 (37% off)

• Magical Tea For Two was $14.99, now $8.99 (40% off)
• Laugh and Learn Learning Vacuum Cleaner was $23.99, now $14.99 (38% off)
• Learning Mower was $23.99, now $14.99 (38% off)
• Little People Stack 'n Sort Train was $18.99, now $11.99 (37% off)
• Grow With Me Trike (silver and purple) was $34.99, now $19.99 (43% off)
• Amazing Animals Press and Go Animal Parade was $29.99, now $18.99 (37% off)
• Brilliant Basics Musical Roll-Along Pony was $39.99, now $24.99 (38% off)

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http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/SQL-Error-191-Nested-Way-Too-Fing-Deeply.aspx

There are a few interesting things in software development that you’ll generally only learn about by working on “certain” types of applications. Take, for example, the HTTP 414 “Way Too F#%&ing Long” response: there’s no standardized upper limit and many web servers don’t even document how long GET requests may be.

While working with his company's service desk application, Ben noticed a similar type of error message come from SQL Server.

Incorrect syntax near '('.
Some part of your SQL statement is nested too deeply. 
Rewrite the query or break it up into smaller queries.

It was Error 191 — another error with no (seemingly) documented upper limit — and was triggered by the following query.

SELECT DISTINCT COUNT(Task.RecId) 
  FROM Task 
 WHERE (Task.TaskType = @P514) 
   AND (Task.Status = @P1) 
   AND (Task.RecId is not null)
   AND ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
       (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
            (Task.OwnerTeam = @P2) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P3)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P4)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P5)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P6)) 
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            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P360)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P361)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P362)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P363)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P364)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P365)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P366)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P367)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P368)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P369)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P370)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P371)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P372)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P373)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P374)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P375)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P376)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P377)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P378)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P379)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P380)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P381)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P382)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P383)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P384)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P385)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P386)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P387)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P388)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P389)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P390)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P391)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P392)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P393)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P394)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P395)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P396)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P397)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P398)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P399)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P400)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P401)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P402)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P403)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P404)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P405)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P406)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P407)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P408)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P409)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P410)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P411)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P412)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P413)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P414)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P415)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P416)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P417)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P418)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P419)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P420)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P421)) 
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            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P423)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P424)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P425)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P426)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P427)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P428)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P429)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P430)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P431)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P432)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P433)) 
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            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P435)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P436)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P437)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P438)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P439)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P440)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P441)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P442)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P443)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P444)) 
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            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P446)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P447)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P448)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P449)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P450)) 
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            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P453)) 
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            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P455)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P456)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P457)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P458)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P459)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P460)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P461)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P462)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P463)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P464)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P465)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P466)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P467)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P468)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P469)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P470)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P471)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P472)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P473)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P474)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P475)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P476)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P477)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P478)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P479)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P480)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P481)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P482)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P483)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P484)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P485)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P486)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P487)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P488)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P489)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P490)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P491)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P492)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P493)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P494)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P495)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P496)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P497)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P498)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P499)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P500)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P501)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P502)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P503)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P504)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P505)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P506)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P507)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P508)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P509)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P510)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P511)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P512)) 
            AND (Task.OwnerTeam = @P513)))

And I’d have to agree. That is nested way too f#%&ing deeply.

http://xkcd.com/681/

http://rollingthroughlooneyville.blogspot.com/2009/12/theres-something-id-never-thought-id.html