Who's our favorite family at the end of the twentieth century? (Norbals, Norbals.. The Norbals!)
Who can take calamity and bring it to the holiday? (Norbals, Norbals.. The Norbals!)

It's really a miraculous conjunction when
Once a year, they get together and hang.
They put the "fun" back into dysfunction;
You've never seen a more neurotic gang!

Who's the family circus [that] can provoke and tickle and irk us? (Norbals, Norbals.. The Norbals!)
It's sedation and denial in the old family style... (Norbals, Norbals.. The Norbals!)

Hey! Daddy's sure to make a few faces red,
And Sister's sure to make a few gaffs;
Somebody will slip and say "I wish you were dead!"
It's an emotional meltdown, a barrel of laughs!

Who's getting stuck in your chimney tonight?
Who's throwing up all the Turkish Delight?
It's a group of individuals so out-of-sight:
The Norbals!